I often fear that if I don't take a picture of something, I will not remember it. I was never like this until I had a child. During Raya's first year of life, I tried to take at least one picture of her every day. When she was a week old, we drove to Jesse's parent's house for the day and accidentally I left our camera there. I think I cried most of the way home after I realized I had left it, but we were too far away to turn back. I couldn't believe I had already screwed up the picture-a-day thing after only one week. I snapped poor-quality pictures on my cell phone, terrified that I would lose a memory forever before the camera arrived in the mail. Amazingly, I think I only missed two days in her entire first year. Three if you count the picture of her bedroom door. I took it as she was screaming her way through a cry-it-out session in her crib one night. I am still plagued by this fear that I will not be able to remember all of the momentous occasions and everyday events in our family's story.
Lately, Raya has been very interested in watching videos of "Baby Yaya" on the computer. It wasn't very long ago, so I know I was a tired Mama in those pictures and videos. I know I lost my patience and felt irritated and wished Raya would just sleep through the night or learn how to walk or be able to make it from our house into town without a constant, ear-piercing scream. But that's not the stuff I remember when I look back at videos from last year - or even last month. Instead I realize that she does sleep through the night these days. She can walk and run and jump. She doesn't do the screaming thing much anymore. So I guess I'll keep snapping those pictures and look forward to the story they will tell when we look back at them later on.
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